5 Ways to Prepare Your Kids for the Big Move

Moving to a new house is a big deal, even for the most mature of people, so it’s understandable how it might be especially challenging or upsetting for small children. A major move that takes them by surprise can have long-term negative effects, so if you’re planning a big move, the right thing to do is prepare them for it ahead of time.

There are a lot of things you can do to make sure that your kids are adequately prepared and don’t feel uneasy with this major change in their life. Here are a few to keep in mind:

1. Consider Waiting

First of all, consider the timing of your move. What is your family life like? How are the kids doing? Have they experienced any major change lately? If they’ve recently witnessed a divorce or separation, a change of school, the death of a relative or pet, then perhaps the timing is not ideal to also introduce a house move.

Children can be extremely sensitive to change, especially if it hasn’t been explained to them, or if it’s difficult for them to understand, so giving them a little grace and waiting a bit for them to get better can go a long way. Ask them subtly what they think about a move, and go from there.

• Wait before trying again

Hopefully, the children will be excited to live somewhere else, but what if they’re not? A lot of people are scared of change, so don’t be surprised if they react negatively. If that’s the case, then give it time before you try again. The more you try to force the idea on them, the more negatively they’re going to respond to it.

Whatever you do, don’t sell before you find a new home to move to. You might end up in a situation where your living situation isn’t stable or you need to find temporary accommodation. That doesn’t just impact the kids negatively, but it’s also a financial drain you simply don’t need when you’ve got an imminent move coming.

2. Choose a location that benefits the family

Before you take any steps forward, have a conversation with the kids and explain the move to them. Explain why, when, where you want to move. Ask them for their opinion and input. Are they excited? Do they feel apprehensive?

When planning a major move, some families seek a lower cost of living and a more affordable life, in general. You can save hundreds of thousands of dollars by just choosing to relocate. You would be able to afford a bigger house, more comfort for the whole family, and save more for retirement. But you have to clue the kids in on the benefits.

• Present all the positive aspects of the move

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. In this case, it pays to present all the fun, positive aspects of the move. It’s an opportunity to make new friends, to decorate a room that’s all their own, to play in a bigger yard, etc.

Maybe the new house is closer to a favorite restaurant of theirs, or it has a backyard pool, or it enables them to walk to school, or get a pet - anything that makes the change of home exciting. Focus on all the benefits this change of lifestyle will afford them, especially if the kids are too small to understand all the complexities of a move.

3. Involve them in planning

A surefire way to get them on board with a move is to involve them in the planning. Ask them what kind of house they’d like to move into. What are their requirements? What are their must-haves and deal-breakers? Making them feel heard and like their opinions and feelings matter is a huge part of getting them to feel comfortable with the move.

• Explain your reasons

If the kids are old enough, it might be a great financial learning opportunity to explain the motivations behind the move. It’s not to take them away from their friends, but to allow them to have a better life. Yes, it requires a sacrifice, but good financial planning often involves change and certain limitations.

Making this decision benefits the entire family and it enables the kids to have opportunities they wouldn’t otherwise have. Whether the extra money will make it possible for them to go to private school, travel, or be involved in activities, they should know and understand what the trade-off is and why you are making it. They will appreciate the move more than resenting it.

• Search for homes

When you’re looking for homes, take the time to rope them into the process. It’s easy to access online listings, so grab your phone and scroll together through some homes. Which ones do they like? What makes those homes attractive? What don’t they like about them? It’s a great bonding activity and it’ll make them feel like this is a family decision, and not just something you’re imposing on them.

Viewing homes can be really fun and exciting, so don’t hesitate to take the kids with you if you can. It’ll give them an opportunity to get used to a different space than the one they’re familiar with. It’s easier for them to imagine their new room if they’re physically there, looking at the space.

4. Check in with them on moving day

It’s extremely important to continue giving them attention, even on the big moving day. You likely will feel like you have more important things to worry about, like those last minute boxes that need packing and coordinating tasks with the professional moving company that you hired, but don’t neglect checking in with the little ones too.

They’re probably dealing with a lot of big emotions they don’t understand and are not able to process on their own, so being present for them is a great reminder that even though some things are changing, your family is not. You are still there, they are safe and loved and everything will be alright.

• Keep them occupied

Ensuring that they have a distraction on hand is the easiest way to make sure they’re ok. Enlisting the help of a babysitter, older sibling, or grandparent is a great solution.

But in absence of a dedicated person looking after them, this is a good time to ease rules around phone and tablet use and screen time. If allowing them to watch something on their tablet keeps them distracted, then it may be a good trade-off.

If your kids are small, make sure they have access to their favorite toy or blanket, or whatever they use for comfort purposes. Having something familiar and comforting around will ease the transition and make them feel safe.

5. Stabilize the situation as soon as possible

Because stability is so crucial to children, you’ll want to make sure that they’ve got a stable, properly set-up home to move into. That means you should prioritize their room, and any other spaces they will use, like their bathroom, and kitchen.

That way, they will feel less displaced. They won’t have to suffer through a lengthy transition period while everything is getting settled, because the spaces they use are ready to go. That’s going to make the new house feel like home as soon as they move in. That helps mitigate any unsettled feelings and feelings of not belonging.

• Let them decorate their room

Decorating their room is exciting and a way to make the kids feel comfortable and at home as soon as they move in. Place the furniture the way they like it, and let them arrange their toys and things. It’ll give them something to do, and it’ll help make them feel like this is their space right away, and not a new, unfamiliar room they have to get used to. Give them a budget and let them run wild on personalizing their space, they’ll love that.

• Respect their routine

Routine is extremely important to children, so do your best to maintain it even while moving house. If they have dinner at 7 pm every night, then make sure to have dinner at 7 pm. Have them keep their everyday habits, including bath time, brushing their teeth, watching their favorite TV program before bed, etc.

Don’t forget to check in with them before they go to bed - how do they feel? Did the day go well for them? Do they like the new home? Is their new room nice? They will feel involved and content that this move isn’t happening without them.

Final thoughts

Kids can be very sensitive to change. Before making any major home moves, they need to be given a heads up, feel prepared, and be presented a chance to understand and come to terms with the idea.

You need to exercise patience and compassion and find ways to make sure that the kids feel stable, secure, and comfortable with moving to a new home. Introduce the idea gradually, check in with them regularly, and make sure to maintain elements they are familiar and comfortable with. That will help them get used to the idea and not reject it outright.